damn....my house is sooo empty......ahh...this is sooo gay....ahhh...all of a sudden i don't really wanna go...the only thing i got to look forward too is gettin a car and radio and music i guess...and gettin a bigger and better house...but that means bigger yard...and more grass cuttin and sheeeit....ahhh...and i can alwayz get a better car here...and as long as i have sum space to do my shit in my room and crap...i'll be happy....and being around my dad to much isn't heathly he is sooo fucking anoying....ahhh!! and fucking lazy...god damn....talk a bout a fucking bad example...shiit..!!!! i hope my dad doesn't be gay and make me share a room wit my sister at the lodge...ahhh 2 more dayz and i'll be in the lodge...hope i can scrub up 40 bucks to go to the club friday...heard lota ppl gonna be there and eddie promised to smoke me out before i leave...soo i hope everything works out...well...i'ma go before my mom notices the shit i'm writing she is only 5 feet away and got a perfect veiw....

HI JESSE!

hey jesse, well, just wanted to say bye yO.. en i hope everything goes well for you in cali.. take care of yerself.. im really gonna miss you yo.. payce.. im Out.. one .. god bless..

damn....it's been a while since i been on this thing.......ahhhh fuck...it's 3 in the mourning....juss got back from chillin at kristain...i was bout to go crazy there....so much shit going through my mind mostly this one chick that was there...i kinda miss her but i was juss really worried bout sumone else there trying to take advantage of her again....when she first told me i didn't know wut to think and i kinda didn't think to much of it cuz she had enuff sense to resist...but i dunno....man...i'm sooo fucking scared i dunno why i keep thinking of her and i only really really miss her when i'm around her i wonder if she fells the same way around me....well ne wayz...the same thing that happened satruday kinda happened tonight wit her...cept the taking advantage part...and she kinda forgot bout it cuz she was intoxicated...i hope she can resist...i would of stayed juss to make sure she would be ok but she was juss....uhhhhh.....i dunno...i don't know if it's really my place to be saying or doing ne thing...but i dunno i feel obligated since i'ma good fren...but we ain't really even frenz ne more...well i dunno well after that one night i feel kinda closer to her..but she was intoxicated then and claims to not have remebered talking to me...so i dunno...man fuck........shit is juss killin me inside....i wish joyce was still here...i miss that gurl sooo much even though she would piss me off sumtimes...mostly after we broke up but as long as we was still together everything was g double o d good.....shit.....i didn't even chill wit her when she came back and i'm moving so i doubt i'll really see her in a long ass time....ahh....that shit is killin me too...but not really as much as that other shit...but as long as i keep thinking of her i don't really worry bout that other shit...but umm....still it's gonna be there and no matter wut thing i think bout it's gonna still eat away at me......FUCK!!!! stupid life...well 19 more dayz then i'm outa here....so hmmmm....that other chick will be gone too...hmmmm hopefully i can forget bout her....for good...i dunno if i wanna have ne thing to do wit her since our past history and how things are now...and after tonight....juss uneeded headaches and heartaches ya know...damn...well i might get to see my good buddy jay r in a few weeks when i go to cali....one good thing to look forward to...and then eventually my boy derek...ahh...i'ma miss it here...

hEY yOu.. sup dOrk.. wellmz, i just wanted to stop by dOoderz en say hEy.. en thanks foe hittin me up.. so yah, im doing the favor toO.. okeEe dOokEEe sMokKeee... yarps, well, i gotta bounce.. en finish packing up mai shiet in mai roOom.. dAYum yo... i found lotta stuff i've been looking for fOe dEcAdEs.. hahaha.. yah.. memories that have beeb hidden underneath the bed.. en in closets and folders.. shiet!... aright yO.. im bounce kayerz.. pAycE... iM oUT.. god bLeSs dOOd.. oNE..

damn....i'm gettin lazy again...havent wrote in this thing for a while....weird how over all this time i got 333 hits on my counter...ok....so 100 was me...like when i try to fix my layout...but who are the other 233!?!?!?hmmmmmmmmm haha...oh man think i'm gettin tired or sumthing....*yawn* damn got bout a month...till i'm out...gonna be back int he states...looking for a 240sx...so i can drop my sr20det in it...then head off to cali and race catubay...stupid punkass bitch talking shit.....i wonder if he even got his car still....oh well...talking bout drifting like he is the shit...man...wutever well ne wayz...went to tama saturday...got tore up...it's all good...i got a few of thoes bastarrds.....stupid bitches wit their own guns and shit...i had to go and rent mine from tama.....man...the second game we went up to the field up in the woods...man sum bitch shot me in the head...right above my mask...right above my hair line...man i got hit and i was like OUC!h!!!!!! and the ref looked at me and was like YOUR OUT!!! and iw as like awww...cuz it was only like 3 minutes into the game..but the games only last like 10 mins so it's all good.....this one dude yoshi...he works over there at the paintball place...i think he is sponsored or ne thing but he knows all bout this paintball shit...and during one game i tried to come around and get him from the side while everyone distracted him from the other side....but i didn't know there was sum other dude in the bunker next to his...and when i ran around...they both shot at me...man the like fucking unloaded on me...i know a few of thoes shots didn't break so thoes really hurt more than the balls that broke...i have like 5 brusies juss from that game...damn...my whole left side...i hit one of them...the gay thing bout it was that i hit the dude in the foot....that fucking sucked while i had like a million shots at my whole left side i only got one guy in the fucking foot...haha damn...i ain't doing that max payne/matrix shit ever again...i think i got yoshi though cuz at the end he was asking ppl to check him for shots so i think he got hit juss none of them broke...i hate that...it hurts more for the other person but they get to stay in...dammit....i wanna go out there again wit sum more frenz...and my own gun...so i can get the volocity up to at last 290...instead of no damn 240..week as shit....while all thoes guys probally had there guns set to like 280 at the least...shit....oh well...damn.....i juss hope i move to florida....or finsh skool there...sum where nice....kinda quite...and sumwhere i can get a fairly good job so i can pay for my car and shit...

hey loser.. dAang last time i hit you up was wut??... 7 days ago.. haha..yarps, wellmz, just wanted to say hEY dOod.. *sigh*.. im really bored yO.. omigosh, you do not noe!.. gEeZ, that stupid typhoon is in!!.. hey maybe we should sneak out en play in the rain.. that would be fun.. oOo, doOd, i dare you to run outside .. iN yOko... run outside naked.. haha.. dOnt woRrIe doOd, nOonE wilL sEe yOu.. i woNt sEnD mAi tV kRu tO cOme eN sEcRetLy tApE yOu sO tHey cAn aIr It On tHe yOkOsUkA rEpoRt.. *eViL gRiN* muahahaha.. anywaize.. hope you had gOod weekend.. yARps, wellmz lOzER.. i gOtTa bOUnce.. pAycE.. 11141260..

i'm not your loser....YOUR MY DORK!!!!....Mwuahah...don't worry....life will get better...juss gota be patient...i know it's hard...and waiting is a bitch...but juss hang in there and yu'll make it through....

*sNifF sNifF*.. i sense mai one en only loser is in here.. yarps... he's reading this.. muahahaha.. hey yOu.. wussup dOrk.. haha. yarps.. id say yer mai b*itch...haha.. but nah.. yOuZ mA lOsEr.. haha.. yarps.. oh doOd.. i got maiself into a lotta shiet today... boy you dO not noe.. i started this one blog right.cuzza yer ass... en one'a mai frenz read it.. en wut i wrote in there.. he thinks its bout him.. but its actually not.. oh god..den he started his own blog.. en he's all ..oOo mayun.. im NoT goN' saY!!!>. jEsSe wut the heyl em I supposed to do.. is life supposed to be this f*cked up or wut??... shiet.. i havent even seen mai freakin mom.. in a week.. en now i got dish shiet bothering me... dOod... dis all yer fault.. ughh!!!.. hahaha.. it could be a possibility.. muahaha.. yarps..

SHEENA IS MEAN!!!! AND A DORK.....oh man....sum ppl juss got no lives...well ne ways...another night of drifting...i really really need a car....even though i'ma be here juss lil over a month....i want to drift...man.....this sucks...big balls...and i'm hungry....this sunday was soo broing...and long...i needa go to the gym...i'm gettin weak and fat...ahh..i haven't been to the gym in 3 dayz i ruined my....thing......i've been going to the gym everyother day for like 2 months now...ahhh...oh well...man this is scary...my dad is leaving around the 23 to go find a job in the states or sumthing and when he comes back we are leaving....this sucks cuz i needa find an engine and start breaking it down to take back to the states since i deicded that i'm too poor to bring back the whole car....so thas my situation now....but i only got lil over a week to find one..cuz my dad is being gay and won't come wit me to up's garage to pick up the red top sr20det they got there...man that fucker.....by the time we get up there it'll be gone...ahhH!!!!i wish i could of gone up there wit dale today...but nooo my dad was being gay and since i hate doing shit wit my family he made me stay home...i wonder if he knows how much i hate being around them and them puttin me in the middle of their shit...i feel a devorce comming up sumtime soon....but it's all good if shit don't work out when we get back to the states i'm moving in wit my grandma or sumthing...it can't be as bad as living wit my 2 retarded parents...i bet chu my sister would beg me to let her come along wit me to live wit my grandma...oh well...once i get my car...and drop tha sr20 in it..i'ma be set...as long as i don't drift into a wall or sumthing.......